Memories of former political prisoner from dungeons in Iran-Part4

By P. Abdi

The secret of “resistance” and “perseverance”

“Resistance” is the only tool for survival for any political prisoner under a religious despot such as the regime in Iran.
A prisoner is ‘alive” only due to her/his resistance against forced impulsions and torture inflicted on him/her. Mastering this “Art” is the main objective of any “Political Prisoner” for this is the only guarantee that would separate him/her from the opposite side: the torturer.
Prisons under Khomein were so different from any other even that of the Shah. It was Shah’s torturers mandate to neutralize the prisoner or pacify him against all odds under torture.
Under Khomeini, torture is a luxury forfeited by any prisoner who wishes to stay alive. So long as you are the subject of being tortured, there is a guarantee that you are kept alive.
In the world of the mullahs, torture is a blessing to any prisoner a chance to repent – of course satisfying personal egos under the banner of religion have become a 30 year old habit of the mediaeval mullahs of Iran.
The torturers all from the Revolutionary Guards, and today members of the present Majilis and the hierarchy of Tehran elites, had invented 74 kinds of tortured only to serve Mojahedin prisoners.
Resisting such mediaeval tortures is for it self an ideal for prisoners who wish to safeguard their spiritual, moral and political independence. The slightest infringement of this ideal is like going back on one’s self.


Feelings and meanings in prison
In mullah’s dungeons every single meaning and “thing” around you and every development and change to do with you or around you has its meaning and also repercussions.
A smile can mean satisfaction and pride for self honor , it also can be an outside mask for insecurity or submission to force. Your’ daily motions which once never meant so much or were done unconsciously such as your glance at things and people, the way you eat, your daily exercises or even the first instance you may have as you wake up all are pieces of a big puzzle which depict your independence of the torturers or your submission to the butchers and their wishes. It may sound complicated but, it seems like as if each and every move should be calculated with precision bearing in mind that at every corner of this corridor there is a vicious enemy waiting for a chance to penetrate deep with in.
It is a place where there is constant challenge between the GOOD and the BAD. The Evil and the innocent… The butcher and the victim… …At first instance one enters the corridor with the sound of alarming cries of agonizing pain of people under torture, one knows that either one stays firm on principles which have been preserved by hundreds before you or dissolve away into what the butchers wish and not leave any trace of your self , your believes or political identity behind. All of us called this distinction of sides (between good and bad, victim and butcher) as “Sharp red lines” which one should not tress pass.
Most of the times prisoners preserved these “sharp red lines” under agonizing hours and days of torture or solitude. At the end those who conquered the limits of Man’s will and determination “Not to give in” were those who gained self preservation and respect with a deep ins feeling that a new world of duty and responsibility has opened its doors with fresh sets of rules to go by. In simple terms: “to resist” was the secret of existence in those dark dungeons.
This one objective seemed to unite us all in one direction. If all of us had been of a variety of social spectrum and political backgrounds, under such circumstances and under torture by torturers, we had one goal, one objective and one love.
Before being arrested, I always had this syndrome of; “What will happen if I am arrested “and “will I be able to resist pressure and torture?”. Outside prison talking about this seems to be presumptuous; a mere chat or imagination of situation. In prison every word had its relative reality following it. I was not only imagining fear but experiencing it in practice.
For example the feeling of “fear” was more than a just a feeling when one is under torture. It is a reflection of my feeling of anxiety of a mis-happening that I might under pressure compromise or endangering a person I sincerely love or appreciate. So the consequence of caving into ones fear does not on oneself but more likely on those you love. This is the soft point which might bend you and make you kneel before the butcher. There would be an endless battle between you and the butcher over this and that who manages to preserve and consolidate what is so sacred to withhold from the butcher will win this battle. This is when the torturer begs you to give in and whilst it is him who holds the keys and the lashes, it is you who is the worrier and the triumphant.
During these determining moments of struggle under torture, there is “handle” which plays as the source of inspiration and strength to with hold from caving in; the strive to protect the one you love, the one millions appreciate and the goal millions have died for from the butchers.
At that time we had all learned of a new democratic world, in which all are truly equal, where the Universal declaration of Human Rights is truly practiced and where Human dignity is preserved and cherished, where religion is not misplaced and misused for power, where women and men are valued as their Human values rather than their sexes… This world was introduced to us by a 30 year old political activist “Massoud Rajavi”. He had from the start of the 1979 revolution arranged for social political debates and classes in the University inviting everyone to take part with the goal to raise social political level of understanding in the intellectual and middle class sectors of society. He had put forth for all of us all the existing philosophical point of views followed by all contemporary political point of views, leaving us with a wide perspective of choice. He also had singled out the threat of an Islamic state at which time hardly any one could understand.
His classes were welcomed by thousands of youth at the time and became a serious threat for the newly rising Islamic fundamentalist state ruled by Khomeini.
In these classes we learned that we have a long road a head to reach real Democracy .
At that time and as the young revolution was being usurped by “Khomeinists” and his Party of God, a new generation of resistance was being formed with the landmark of “total independence of though and intellect” from the past religious generation. We all loved Massoud because he was the point that pierced fundamentalist ideas and practices being introduced into the country’s constitution by Khomeini.
Millions of the older and less educated sectors of the society believed in Khomeini as the Soul of God! And for this reason, Massouds’ revelations and distinctions in these classes drawing a line between real Islam and an opportunist one used by Khomeini was certainly no good news for the ruling Hierarchy.
Khomini was trying to deceive millions, using hollow democratized speeches, in order to establish a mediaeval Islamic tyranny, and Massoud Rajavi and his friends were standing in his way. The solution for Khomeini was to isolate him from those he loved. This is where Khomeini’s famous fatwa against Mojahedin came to work. From then onwards, thousands were tracked down by thugs, agents and Pasdaran. They were killed, tortured to death and imprisoned. By 1990 it was estimated that 500 000 supporters of Mojahedin and their relatives had been arrested, or disappeared.
This is how the name “Massoud Rajavi” became a symbol used by prisoners to shout out resistance under torture. Most of the times only the name prisoners shouted ‘long live freedom long live Rajavi’ before the nose strangled them only to piece through the fear created by the torturers amongst those watching the hangings. This was their gesture of a last minute devotion to Freedom. This gesture was used by hundreds hanged, tortured or executed to death, because it was a solid display of a movement of a crowd and not an individual. The name “Rajavi” corresponded with “Organized resistance against opportunist fundamentalist khomisnism”, which in it self was a new phenomena yet to be experienced by the world.